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Charles Levenstein: Last LectureThe following lecture was presented by Professor Charles Levenstein, Work Environment (Retired), on February 24, 2004, at a series titled "If This Were The Last Lecture I Would Give, What Would I Say?" The series is organized by the Multi-faith Council of the University of Massachusetts Lowell and funded by the Council on Diversity and Pluralism.
This is not a life of butterflies, there is not a sunny poem on my desk. Poems of pain: a snapshot of Mexican child workers. Of struggle: Worcester nurses striking. Poems about the Vietnamese boy in Chelsea who lost his hand in a printing press after one day on the job. About tunnel The violinist who can no longer play, the textile worker who The materials of poetry: dusts and fumes, asbestos, pesticides, The ergonomics of poetry: the back, the neck, the arms, the The gristmill’s daily grind, the machinery of poetry. There are blue skies, sex and grandchildren, but The poetic life is one of attention, not of beauty. Baxter Road In the morning I walk up Baxter Road To the lighthouse before the citizens Are awake, before the carpenters have come To work. Only the wave slapping At the base of the bluff, only the flags flapping In the wind, only the other denizens Chattering or calling, enjoying the morning Sun. Each house has a dove, centered on the roof, Quietly celebrating the peace. A great mansion has two crows like bookends But no books to read.
The breeze shifts The wind on the water.
Goldfinches fly about chasing Each other, resting on the power lines, Then off again to play in the sun. I know robins, and there’s one relaxing, Waiting for the worms to wake up. Other birds, small ones with light breasts And dark capes, and then quickly A black bird with a touch of red flashes One another, but it is still so still.
I look east, imagine Europe, but am captured By the slow moving fishing boats, glide On the Atlantic, searching, searching, from This distance we cannot know if they find Anything at all.
Nantucket Prayer Placing the small boxes with the word of God Next to my heart and between my eyes. In the evening, however, I prayed With the old men, first Mincha, Then Maariv, mutter with the best of them, Bend my knees, bow my head, There were always some mourners, They would glorify the Name on high, Sometimes with tears, sometimes in duty. I prayed for years from childhood into Adolescence, not for anything in particular, But to heal the rift between God and man. Only through music could I reach To the heavens, sometimes in the choir I would cry out Adonai! Adonai! I blushed afterwards, something had Made away with me.
Turning Sixty-Five small ones, two or three at a time, carry a shovel and big plastic bag, maybe two, the other for cans and bottles, not that I need a shopping cart, no need to wander or beg, just to stay amused.
I could pack groceries at the organic store, chat with bony ladies and tattooed children, grin at the Russian gr after 20 years still wonder-struck by the supermarket; I could sell flavored water to runners, unscented deodorant to the sensitive, coconut massage oil to the sensuous, free range boneless breasts without skin, triple-cream cheeses from France or Pennsylvania. I could eye other old men who love nature and the false promise of spandex.
I could canvass for peace or the heart association, raise money for and against cancer, I could ring a bell or toot a horn at Christmas, get into fistfights with ex-priests who picket abortion clinics. I could smoke marijuana, hand out flyers to legalize drugs, go to town meeting to protest scabs at the latest luxury structure still under construction, or the parking spaces that will sell for $65,000each – I learned the price from equipment operators who like to chat on their break – I could be an elderly spy.
I could write poems, such a solitary game, unless I went to workshops in Concord or on the Cape, hung out in bars and bistros, read at open readings until discovered and won the Pulitzer, became Poet Laureate of Samoa, published in translation in obscure languages, chanted at Naropa, had my picture taken naked in a diner or with Susan Sarandon on another errand of mercy, the senior center at Temple Beth Shalom which, without irony, displays a sign supporting Israel in its pursuit of peace. I could write poems, walk dogs, pack groceries, canvass and fight.
Merrimack River Rhapsody winter detritus and demands to know who has right-of-way; the city, a transparent heart of waterways and ethnicity, spills over like a flooded channel after January thaw, whispers I love you in Canadian: the eyes of Cambodia light up, Haiti smiles, West Africa cannot believe its ears: I love you.
A grandmother stands in the street in the old Irish Acre, her hair is protected from the icy rain by a babushka donated to the Salvation Army, on her feet are plastic flip flops; she reminds my friend of his old Greek grandmother, a peasant lady swept to the new world by wars and poverty, the bewilderment on her face is the same, how did I come from the fields of Cambodia to this cold gray place?
We contemplate time and sip chicken-egg-lemon soup at the Olympia, decide on mousaka and tomato-stained potato, diet coke with ice; This city is washed by a human flood in every generation; women fish and gossip by the edge of the river, teenagers sample the water, are taught the tenets of environmental justice, the men stamp out plastic parts indispensable to the American imagination.
Hometown like clothes made ready for the laundry, futile attempts to distinguish dark from light, the inevitable Kleenex tucked away in a forgotten pocket destined to undo all effort at organization the new order of laundry as dismal a notion heard since the fall of the Soviet Union.
Apparently the only word for facial tissue in Spanish is “Kleenex”. I invented “paper of the nose” to the vast amusement of clerks at Hometownbodega – where I bought a roll of duct tape, not to line my shelter, but as the only solution to the disintegration and diffusion of Kleenex throughout dark laundry: black chinos, navy shirts, socks, the most intimate of items, adorned with flecks in a synthetic blizzard.
The Hometown chief reported over 1000 phone calls about anthrax one week after the national scare, investigations unearthing forgotten Tide, Bisquick, talcum (uncontaminated by asbestos, we hope), fearsome white powders snorted by affluent citizens who knew better than to invite police into their high tech homes. Hometown is not under siege, although the beating of three Indian students by local patriots might give that impression. I secret my cache of once-washed Kleenex fragments to avoid the eyes of spies searching for Ahmed Rosenberg.
When I was a youth, my mother hid The People’s Songbook so I would not sing commie songs at college and waste my young life at Leavenworth. Now I scour my home for Middle Eastern treasures, olive wood camels, varnished sunflower seeds, posters with strange scribbling might frighten Homeland Security. I do not say Shalom for fear they’ll hear Salaam and search my shoes for bombs or other secret messages. I worry for the baby boomers Un-schooled by the Red Scare of the 1950’s.
Of course I am frightened. I did not send a poem for peace to the White House, not merely because I knew the statistics on dysfunctional illiteracy. No, I am a squawking chicken, afraid of oil, afraid of pharmaceuticals, afraid of crazy Christians who ache for a new crusade. I worry about the children of Iraq, but fear Homeland Security.
On the other hand, the old people’s homes in Hometown are going bankrupt, so prison for senior citizens may become an aspect of retirement planning. Will there be shuffleboard at Alcatraz? Hootin’ Annies at Sing-Sing?
I do not write political poems. I write kitchen crap and confessions. This is not about politics. It’s about our goddam lives.
Benchmarks The Big Dig sent tunnels into the harbor And will submerge miles of skyway soon. When the dust settles and workers Pack their tools, we will sit on benches In urban seashore park and ponder The busy-ness of all those years of flashing Light, detours and full speed ahead, Cranes, earthmovers and muddy pile drivers trudging Beside broken roads, helpful police, Snarling police, all on overtime. Sailboats Will grace the harbor, we will sit and fish From the docks, children again by the sea.
II. Yesterday I drove E. to the new courthouse Built on a synthetic peninsula before The militia blew up Oklahoma City, I dropped her at the chain-link fence Where guards eyed the old Toyota Until they spotted her lawyer’s bag – They no longer sport machine guns, The real threats are likely to come From the sea, perhaps Yemenite patrol boats, Or the air.
III. Now that I’ve announced my intention To get out of the traffic sooner than later, Colleagues and friends eye me with suspicion, Cannot imagine that I’ll leave our puddle, An old frog experienced in dodging the bus, Weathered floods and drought, helped To build the damned puddle from a splash In the gutter to an illicit playground For mischievous children, ah the mud Still feels good on my skin!
Nevertheless, the Big Dig is over, I know nothing about placing sod Or growing flower gardens,
I have my own reptilian dreams, Set aside for long enough.
IV. And what about The call to pen (not arms), From Prague to Cambridge: Chomsky says to tell the people, While Havel said speak truth to power, I’d probably tell whoever wants to listen.
Just as likely I’ll draw a crowd From my bench as from the puddle.
March 2003
At the Very Least School is out: throw the texts aside, sleep late, relax in bubbles, play with the cat!
If I were a true teacher, I would relax with novels and books of poems all day and into the night,
but I have been sneaking romance, inside the text book a classic comic, risque novels in brown paper cover—
So I do not deserve this release from duty. I have not been dutiful. I have been enjoying my seniority.
II. I no longer read newspapers or other ideological tracts. I can invent as well as any Times reporter, I can sit in Boston and spin tales like a barfly in Caracas or Sao Paolo. Liars without shame write for me as though I were oil or fruit or liquid capital seeking a drowning country. If anything, I prefer the Wall Street Journal, a community newspaper.
III. Today the oil workers’ union in Venezuela, creature of the CIA as everyone in labor knows, strikes to bring down Chavez. Perhaps these roots are so obvious, journalists think not worth reporting.
IV. Shame must be a pre-modern phenomenon – Modernism was about sharp edges, accumulation of money and power, towering Manhattan, nuclear Chernobyl. And now – the Empire rules far Afghanistan, battles France over Iraqi oil. Shameless.
V. A new kitten plays in the sink, fascinated by the drain through which all matters of interest disappear. Shall I tell her the Dispose-all is a fierce creature, not merely resistant to her youthful counter-hegemonic impulse, but dangerous?
VI. I’m reading Galeano this morning, which may explain old-fashioned conscience rising like a harvest moon, orange.
VII. I suppose I maintain the illusion of choice to ease daily life. After all, my (sic) president seized office in a Florida coup, my (sic) country now subject to emergency powers because of imperial war, the enemy is everywhere. The military menu is dominated by a special of the day, tomorrow liver with onions, next week Korean kim-bob. Seventy percent of electorate stays home, tv blares victory, never asks why most didn’t bother. Some choice, they said, some choice.
VIII. Some days my wife says I look like a turtle, round face, receding chin, wattles that accumulate with age. I wonder if turtles thrash around beneath their shells, perhaps at night when the sky is clear and sharp and their impotence most apparent. sometimes it just seems that way.
IX. Oh Lord, how am I to accept this life of privilege, when Your world of violence and tears, Your bloody world of Oil and Empire, requires that I bear witness -- at the very least.
Copyright (c) 2001-2004 by Charles Levenstein. All rights reserved. | |
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